N ope hartsroep

Soos ek hier sit met gedagtes en gevoelens in n warboel dink ek terug na die verlede. Mense stap in en uit n mens se lewe. Hulle sien jou huis en alles wat jy wil he daar moet wees. Jou binneste huis word versteek. Die huis waar jy wense en drome bere.

Dis nie maklik om kinders groot te maak nie. Veral nie 3 seuns nie. Ek is n trotse ma van 3 pragtige jong mans. Daar isin wat weet watter opofferings ek moes maak en die pad wat ek moes stap. 12 jaar terug toe staan ek met n pap baba, peuter en kleuter en wonder hoe gaan ek dit doen. My kinders het nie die name brands gehad nie. Pep was hulle winkel en Nike wel n droom. Verjaarsdae, kersfeeste en ander dae was spesiaal gemaak met liefde en omgee.

Dit laat mens net weer besef met kersfees om die draai dat dit nie gaan oor geld nie. Die nametag en brandname is vir my kids n bysaak. Die pad was en is nie maklik om te loop nie maar een ding wil ek duidelik stel. As jy dink jy kon dit beter doen, be my quest. My kinders is geleer dat mooi speelgoed aardse goed is. Liefde is kettings van yster wat nooit sal breek nie. Met min is die pad gestap, met min word die pad nogsteeds gestap en al is die toekoms ook hoe onseker weet ek dat ek vanaand my oe kan toemaak en weet ek het my kinders vandag gegee wat ek kon. Hulle is versorg en geliefd.

Vir jare het ek altyd vir ander gegee. Ander voor myself gesit. Hulle opgetel en opgebou. Ek het nog nooit van enige iemand iets terug verwag nie. Dit was gedoen met liefde en omgee. Vandag sit ek en dink hoeveel keer ek oor die jare teruggeklap is in die spreekwoordelike gebaar deur sogenoemde vriende.
Mens kom op n punt in jou lewe wat jy voel jy moet hart skoonmaak. Jou lewe bekyk en jou pad herroep. Ja ek het tonne foute gemaak. Almal maak foute want niemand is perfek nie. Wat belangrik is is dit wat oorbly. Die gebare en woorde wat partykeer dieper sny as n mes maak dood binne. Soos die bloed uit daai wond vloei om te genees wonder ek hoekom ek? Wat het ek gedoen om soveel seer te he?

Dis in die tyd wat ek weet daar is net een plek om heen te gaan. Daar is net een persoon wat weet.

Pappa Vader ek bring vanaand almal na U toe wat soos ek voel. Moeg, platgeslaan. Wat voel hulle het nie n huis of heenkome nie. Die wat sukkel en val en bloei. Pappa Vader tel almal op. Omvou hulle in Jou hand. Maak hulle wonde gesond en gee n oorvloef van blessings. Pappa by U huis weet ek is ons altyd welkom. Dankie dat ons kan weet dat wanneer ons op ons laagste is, U ons veilig hoog in U hande omvou.

Koeksisters

FB_IMG_15705579815325753.jpg

Jip julle lees reg. Koeksisters. Nou die vraag hoekom koeksisters. Wel dit het alles begin met die idee van ‘n boeremark in Panama en ‘n uitdaging van koeksisters bak so lekker soos my tannie sin.

So is gevra na die geheime resep met die hemelse bestandeel. Almal was gretig en reg vir die groot bak. Gaan dit werk? Hoe gaan dit proe? Gaan dit eetbaar wees? Dit het my laat dink aan die lewe. Hoe is ons almal nie maar gevleg soos koeksisters nie.

FB_IMG_15700723459814534.jpg

Die Here skenk aan ons elke bestandeel wat ons nodig het vir ‘n suksesvolle baksel koeksisters. Soos mens die meel en botter in mekaar vryf, vryf die Here ons in verskeie omstandighede. Hy gee vir ons die nodige bakpoeier om te reis na elke geleentheid. Soos ons die eiers byvoeg, die wit en geel, meng ons die deeg en vorm ons die brousel om die perfekte bal te vorm. Dis nie maklik nie. Die lewe gooi ons en knieg ons. Hy gee ons dan ‘n koel lappie om te rus en tot verhaal te kom.

FB_IMG_15707610770340685.jpg

Net sodra jy dink jy is reg gooi Hy jou in die warm olie en jy moet reis en bak. Hierdie is jou geleentheid om die perfekte kleur te gee aan jou toekoms en lewe. Dan sodra jy gewoont is aan die hitte beland jy in die stroop. Yskoud. Maar die stroop is nie net suiker en water nie. Dis nie net die soet nie. Die suur van die suurlemoen bring die smaak van heerlikheid. Jy word kan gegee om alles op te suig wat jy kan en dan is dit jou beurt om uit jou gemaksone te kom en jou volle potensiaal van koeksister wees te bereik.

Hoe jy proe word bepaal deur wie jy is. Die lewe is nie altyd maanskyn en rose nie. Dis glad nie maklik nie. Jy word gevleg en getrek. Partykeer voel dit vir jou asof jy nie meer kan nie en asof jy wens die aarde wil jou heel insluk. Dis dan wanneer die stroop van wie jy is deur jou vloei.

FB_IMG_15701554477563899.jpg

Dis die moeilike tye. Die trane. Op jou kniee met naaktheid voor God in die wete dat jy alles voor Sy voete kan le. Hy gee jou alle bestandele. Hy sorg vir die soet en sout. Hy sorg dat jy net reg gebrei en dik genoeg gerol word vir die perfekte, sappige koeksister.

Dankie Here dat ons kan weet voor U voete is ons veilig. U bring vir ons wat ons nodig het op die regte tyd soos deur U bepaal. Dankie vir die amazing God wat U is. Dankie vir U liefde en veilige vesting.

FB_IMG_15695520573210355.jpg

Bokse

Ja julle lees reg. Bokse. Vierkantige voorwerpe waarin goed gebere of gestoor word. Items wat hierin verpak word word op verskeie maniere verpak. Of dit word net ingesit en versigtig toegedraai sodat daar nie skade aan die voorwerp kan kom nie.

rload

Wel, jou lewe is ‘n metaforiese boks. Dis huidiglik 3 uur in die oggend in Panama en ek het ‘n warboel van gedagtes. Gedurende die week het soveel gebeur dat mens sukkel om partykeer tot verhaal te kom.

grow6

Ek en ‘n vriendin het ‘n in diepte gesprek gehad oor die vooruitsigtige van ons toekoms. Gaan ons probeer om ‘n sukses hier te maak of terugkeer na Suid Afrika.  Dit het my laat dink aan ‘n boks. Jy sien in Suid Afrika is alles vier mure. Jou huis is so bewapen en toegesluit dat niemand ongewens kan inkom nie dat almal binne die huis veilig toegedraai is. Gaan jy werk toe of slegs na die winkelsentrums is jou boks se een flappie so klein oop dat jy kans het om terug te kruip indien daar gevaar is. Jou boksie bestaan dus uit jou gevoel vir veiligheid, geborgenheid en in ‘n mate geluk. Sonder so boks sou jy dit waarskynlik nie kon oorleef nie. Hier is dit alles egter die teenoorgestelde. Ons kan nie wag om uit die boks te kom nie. Kinders kan rondspeel in parkies. Jy slaap met vensters oop en as daar ‘n special is hoef jy nie om lewe en dood aan jou handsak te klou nie. Jy is veilig, jy is gelukkig. Dis egter moeilik om tot die verhaal te kom.  Mens is so gewoont dat alles eers gecheck moet word en dat jy heeltyd om jou moet rondkyk dat mens vergeet daar is lewe.

blog3

Ek sit en kyk uit op die woonstelle. Die liggies in die tuin laat my dink aan ‘n romantiese wandellaan. Die stilte laat mens tot verhaal kom en bring weer vrede in mens se hart en gemoed. So die vraag bly nog staan. Soos hulle sal se bly of gly. Ek kan regtig myself en my gesin nie meer in bokse sien nie. Ja in my hart is ek eg Suid Afrikaans maar Suid Afrika is nie meer ons Suid Afrika nie. Dis ‘n boksie met ‘n label: pasop.

imagesORBGEN1Y

Die Here vertel ons op verskeie plekke in Sy woord dat Hy ons op ‘n pad geplaas het. Hy het mense en totale vreemdelinge gebring om ons te help om van ons tog deur die woestyn van die lewe sin te kan maak. Elke persoon het sy rol om te vertolk. Een ding weet ek egter en dit is dat my God nie slaap of sluimer nie. Hy vermorsel die koppe van slange en beklee my elke dag met die sterkste wapenrusting wat Hy het. Hy omvou my en my familie en hou ons by Sy voete veilig. Soos die engelse se Home is where the heart is. My hart is hier. Dis nie maklik nie. Dis baie verlang en baie stres. Dis huil en aanmoedig en opgee en weer opstaan. Maar dan kom Sy woord. Kyk op en rig jou sig na My.

blog4

As jy voel jy is in boks vandag. Bekyk jou kante. Loer na buite. Sien die moontlikhede en onthou jy is spesiaal gemaak deur ‘n God wat nie foute maak nie maar ewebeelde van perfekte wesens. Hy het jou naam in Sy hand geskryf. Verander jou boks se adres. Kyk waar kom jy uit.

imagesBRVBSN4X

Die “suur” van die lewe

lem1

Partykeer wonder mens hoekom dinge gebeur. Hoekom kan elke dag nie net verloop soos dit moet nie? Dit is die groot probleem want dit kan nie. Elke dag is vir ons gegee met sy eie opdraendes en tekortkominge. Soos die engelse gesegde gaan ”You get lemons to make lemonade”.

lem4
Vat nou maar daai ou lemmetjie. Klein groen en vrek suur. Dis elke dag. Dit begin klein. Klein takies wat gedoen word so dat die dag kan begin. Dan is die dag nog groen. Jy weet nog nie wat voorlê nie, nog minder wat met jou gaan gebeur. Jy is geplaas in die “blender” van die lewe. Jy word gepluk, opgesny en nou moet jy iets word.

imagesBRVBSN4X
Dit is egter jou keuse. Jy kan ‘n suur lemmetjie bly wat daai slegte nasmaak los, jy kan ‘n heerlike verfrissende lemonade word. Jy kan gebruik word om ander disse heerliker te maak.

lem2
Daai reseppie word bepaal deur jou. Dis egter nie so maklik met listige satan wat ook nog sy suurheid wil by sit nie. Probleempies lyk dan eweskielik soos die grootste berge wat verskuif moet word. Maar, as mens net bietjie suiker bysit, al is dit net n knippie is daai reus platgeslaan.

imagesBRVBSN4X
Ons is bevooreg. As chefs van ons lewens het ons ‘n Masterchef God, klaar vir ons die perfekte resepte gegee. Flatervry. As jong onervare kokke moet ons egter net genoeg geloof hê om ons te kan dra deur die bakproses.

lem6
Nie almal is n Gordon Ramsey of Jamie Oliver nie, maar die goeie nuus is jy hoef nie te wees nie. Jy is uniek gemaak. Jy is gevorm en gemaak in God se beeld. Jou naam is geroep nog voor jy n gedagte was. Dan het jou resep nog die beste bestandeel ooit ingesluit. Die bestandeel van 1 Kor 13. Die belofte dat God jou bakker jou nooit sal verlaat nie. Ja nie al jou disse gaan perfek wees nie maar dis ook okay. Die lewe is n leerskool. ‘n Kombuis waar resepte beproef en verfyn word. En soos my kinders altyd sê, partykeer is die floppies die lekkerste.

hope2
Dis al wat saak maak. Die liefde waarmee dit gemaak is, die geloof dat dit sal werk en die hoop dat almal dit kan geniet.

images7GD32WT4
Nou my vraag. Wat gaan jy met jou lemmetjies doen? Wanneer laas het jy jou resepteboek gebruik om te bak?

lem5
Neem jou resep, plaas jou bestandele op die tafel van die lewe en bak tot jy nie meer kan nie. Selfs dan is elke floppie tops.

Rock a world

imagesR5EVHEMT

A few days ago something happened that I would not wish upon my biggest enemy. A very dear friend’s daughter was abducted. I can still remember the feeling I felt when I heard the news. The cold, nausious and uneasyness with how could this happen? Who would/could do something like this? Our first instinct is to react. We call out to all to help spread the word. We call all we know and all look up and start to pray. The question how do I get through this is one that leaves you with more questions and even bigger heartache. We look for our strenght in our Father for His promise is that He will never forsake us nor leave us. A town, a country all down on their knees. How amazing and in the same sentence tragic.

images999KGO5S
It takes the kidnapping of a little girl to bring man to a stand still and take stock. It takes the heartache of 2 parents for us to remember where we find hope and love and comfort. But it does not stop there. Satan starts his own little campaign with stories and lies and stories with tags and and and. Out the window goes hope. Our foundation grumbles and our rocks start to fall. You see God builds up from the bottom. He lays the foundation in His word and gives us the cement and stones to build the walls and roofing. But we are human and always, but always, want to get things done faster. Life is a rat race. A hasty run from point a to b. It is then that we build cracks. And unfortunately any builder would know if your cement mixture is not right the walls will fall, crack and crumble. The amazing thing is our walls should not crumble nor fall. We have the perfect building plan. The perfect builder.

imagesORBGEN1Y
The problem is we do only believe when we are called upon. You can now be cross and stop reading but you know its true. We are human. We pray and read the bible but somewhere during the day it gets lots. Like google maps once said “seriously lost”. Why does something have to go wrong for us to believe? Why is it so difficult for us just to keep the faith?

imagesSWBNQG3T
As I sit and watch my kids and look down at others playing I envy them. They don’t know what it is to struggle with finances, to struggle with your marraige, your job, your daily routine. For them it is a joy to be able to play and just live.

imagesCIJKA4Z4
With all that happened the last few days I realised that we all need to be a little bit like a child. We are not perfect. Our colouring pencils have broken many times and our pictures have changed alot. But it does not mean that the picture can not be coloured beautifully. Every picture is a masterpiece. All has its own perfect imperfections. The beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. Lets take our foundation and our plans that was given to us by the best architect in the world and build the most amazing houses. Like a child lets reach for the stars and believe we can touch each one. For we can. We have the power to touch a life. The power to change the view of a country one person at a time. We are all somebodies whole world. Lets rock that world and build the creation to the fullest.

blog4
Put on your outside clothes, take your shovel, sand, sement and rocks. Make your mixture perfect with water and build that wall strong to last a lifetime. Be that one person that changes a life. Be that one person who picks someone up. Take someones burdens and cast them away. Just like it took a little girl to light a fire of prayer it takes one to change the future.

blog1

Grow where you are planted

grow1

Today a week ago my son and I started a project. I wanted something to keep him busy and teach him responsibility. We brought some vegetable seeds with from South Africa. On Saturday we purchased some planters and soil for him to start his own garden.
After a very dirty and “oh gross” and “the composs stinks” we managed to have 6 planters planted.

imagesDHQE5ISB

Everyday he has to water the plants. Because of our humidity and heat he has to water them twice a day. At first he was very disappointed when the packet stated that it would take 2-3 weeks for the seedlings to grow. To our biggest surprize after a week it has all started to sprout. Some even bigger and faster than the rest. His face every morning when he sees its a little bigger or sees a new sprout he jumps of joy. We still can not believe that it can grow so fast and must now purchase bigger planters for his garden. For which he is very excited.

grow3
This made me think when I was looking at him today. He takes so much care with each one. He checks that the soil is wet enough, he checks to see if there is no weeds. Hell if I gave him a ruler I think he will measure it aswell. This is life. A growing process that takes time.

images7G5AL3AA
God created heaven and earth in 6 days. He planted and designed the world and everything in it. He planted us. Not always do we end up where we want to be. Life happens and things goes wrong. We blame Him first and then look for all the other reasons why it did not work out. The thing is. We need to ask ourselves what should have happened if we would have stayed? We should look at the bigger picture.
God garden of life is not simple. He plants us. He waters us daily with His words. The problem starts here.

grow4

Not all of us are the type of soil that listens to what we are told. We are sometimes to rocky and the word/water just runs past us. Some of us are so thick headed the water just lays on top of us doing absolutely nothing. Then the weeding starts. When you pull out weeds you need to pull it out root and all. That is not always easy. Some roots are deep and we need to dig deep and pull hard. That’s how some of our problems feel. It feels as if it over rules us. We feel like we are being sucked dry and that no oxygen or live are breathed into us. The gardner needs to remove these roots. The soil again allows how easy the process are going to be and really, some of us are really pigheaded. Stubborn is not even a description.

grow1
We grow. How tall and fruitful depends on us. God gives us all He can. He waters us with the rain and water of life, He provides nutrients in His word and He destroys satan’s every attack for how deep we allow Him. Our growth and sprouting is in our hands.
A fellow friend used to say we are so huge because we are always in the “shit”. We needed it to grow. And in a way it is true. We need all the shitty things in life to make us stronger. We need the bad so that we can realize the good and see the beauty of every day.

grow6
Our gardner never leaves us unattended. We might feel alone and full of weeds but if we open ourselves up and loosen some of the soil for Him to enrich us we can reach such huge heights. All we need to do is to believe and allow Him to take care of us. Everyday is a gardening day. Everyday we are measured. Sometimes we come up short but other days we grow to the be strong. Let Him enrich you and grow.
Be the most beautiful and fruitful garden you can be. Inspire others to take some off the fruit of your believe and see how much growth there can be. Plant your seeds and watch it grow. Be amazed everyday.

grow5

The road

imagesM1TTLU3I

So many things have changed since I last wrote. I changed countries, left all I love behind and started a new life in a strange world. The saying goes life is the road less travelled. Well this is definately true.

road1
As I sit and look through the window I stare at the most beautiful setting. Here where we are settled for now in the mountains its like living in a story book. The hills goes on non-stop. All is green and fresh. The streetlights of houses build looks like tiny fireflies trying to give direction.
A road like this make a person look at life through another window. All is different. Language, culture, driving and even food. All we took for granted is different.

rload
Some days it is really hard to stay focussed on ones goals. The emptiness and loneliness creeps up and one seldom wonders why did I do this? Why did I leave all that I have for this unknown.
The blaming game in your head starts to work overtime. Everything seems to be to much and not even all the hills that surrounds us seems to be enough to run to and to hide and shout it all out.

road2
It is then that you realize what you are, who you are. In your lowest low you see the bigger picture. You read the scripture with a different eye. God promised to allows be with us. He is after all the creator of all. He made this wonder world. The world where all is in harmony, except your state of mind. And that is the most difficult battle. The battle to understand that God would not put something on your road without given us the directions. He said that He would never forsake nor leave us. A good friend reminded me this week that it is us who leaves His path. The devil just lays like a panther and wait for that first I cant. And then he takes hold and to break that is a whole different ballgame. It takes being on your knees and asking forgiveness. But you want to know the greatest thing about being there? That’s where you will find Him. In that moment all will make sense. All He askes is that this road He put you on be walked with Him. Those times when you feel alone, confused and like giving up, it is then when you are safe in His arms being carried to where you are supposed to be.

imagesADU91VCT
We are sometimes blind to what we see around us. Lights on a mountain looks like a road that has to be driven on so that you do not go off the road but, it can also mean it shows you the way to where you are meant to be. The curves in the road was maybe build because there were now other way to build the road but maybe it is to show us that life is not only a simple road. It has ups and downs and sometimes an extra curveball or two.
One thing I do know is that I will never look at a road as just a road. Every road is an oppertunity. One you can take or one you can pass by. On every road the turn off can leave to a uphill or downhill. But that is life. Having light along the road is so much more than just being able to see. Its being able to see what is right in front of you. It being able to grab the good and the bad.

imagesPHHTMZD3
All God askes of us is that we trust in Him. He will never let us fall or travel a road He has not chosen for us. But if we should read the map of life wrong He also has a way of showing us how to reach our destination.
So look up when you drive. Look at the view. Take in the beauty and see the road marks. And always know that the road to greatness is taken with God as the driven of the car. There is no better GPS than Him.

images4M45919S